


Dress Fitting

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [47]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7816981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: alex's wedding suit</p><p>little lion: fuck you weren't supposed to see that</p><p>johnn: ???</p><p>more like HUNKules: I have nothing to say</p><p>laf: why is it green</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dress Fitting

**little lion** : this is unfair and rude

**more like HUNKules** : I think it's cute

**little lion** : it!! isn't!!

**johnn** : I think it's adorable

**little lion** : nO!!!!

**more like HUNKules** : yeS!!!

**laf** : I leave to go get the mail for Two Minutes and you all do this to me

**laf** : what's going on

**johnn** : our darling alexander is mad bc he has smol hands

**little lion** : meaNWHILE YOU ALL HAVE HANDS THAT COULD HOLD THE WHOLE FUCKCING SOLAR SYSTEM

**johnn** : idk why you would ever want big hands

**little lion** : I don't want Big Big Hands

**little lion** : just like big enough to be able to hold slightly bigger things without straining

**johnn** : what things can you not hold

**little lion** : my laptop and charger, moderately sized bowls, any box without handles, coffee cups wider than the circumference of a doorknob, etc.

**johnn** : I

**little lion** : I hate everything

**little lion** : except like,,,,,you three

**johnn** : aw

**little lion** : I still think it's rude that your hands are the size of whole planets

**more like HUNKules** : tag yourself I'm jupiter

**johnn** : I'm like roughly?? neptune???

**laf** : I want earth

**little lion** : I'm pluto

**little lion** : if any of you say that pluto is not a planet I'm divorcing all of you

**johnn** : I think we're all definitely For Pluto

**more like HUNKules** : rt

**laf** : rt

**little lion** : goOD

\---

**laf** : idk what alex is talking abt his hands aren't that much smaller than mine

**little lion** : yeah but you have the height to make up for it

**laf** : that's not even cute that's disproportionate

**little lion** : it isn't you're beautiful

**laf** : they aren't mutually exclusive, thank you, and I love you

**little lion** : love you too

\---

**more like HUNKules** : does anyone wanna come with me and laf to my studio

**little lion** : why are you going to your studio it's saturday

**more like HUNKules** : I've done it before but laf needs to try on their dress

**little lion** : oh

**little lion** : no I'm good

**laf** : aBSOLUTELY RUDE

**little lion** : I WANT TO BE SURPRISED

**johnn** : RT

**laf** : oh then that's fine that's cute

**little lion** : we live to be cute

**laf** : I already knew that

**little lion** : ;^))

\---

**laf** : hercules

**more like HUNKules** : ??

**laf** : what is this

**more like HUNKules** : ???

**laf** : alex's wedding suit

**little lion** : fuck you weren't supposed to see that

**johnn** : ???

**more like HUNKules** : I have nothing to say

**laf** : why is it green

**johnn** : itS GREEN?¿

**more like HUNKules** : it's a pRETTY GREEN

**johnn** : WHAT KIND OF GREEN IS IT

**little lion** : emerald kind of?? maybe a little bit darker??

**little lion** : I had a shirt in it once and I can't wear it anymore bc you saw it and ripped three of the buttons off trying to get me out of it

**johnn** : :// sorry??

**johnn** : no but anyway I'm for it

**laf** : am I the only one that's skeptical about this

**johnn** : yes

**little lion** : yes

**more like HUNKules** : yes

**more like HUNKules** : okay so look at the suit

**more like HUNKules** : then think abt how cute our boyfriend is

**more like HUNKules** : then you just gotta put it together

**laf** : oh okay then I'm for this

**little lion** : yES

**johnn** : I'm gonna cry so hard at this wedding

**little lion** : rt

**laf** : rT

**more like HUNKules** : RT

\---

**more like HUNKules** : wait laf how did you even know that was alex's suit I didn't put any label on it or anything

**laf** : it's alex's size and there's a heart sewn into the underside of the lapel

**more like HUNKules** : okay idk what the heart has to do with anything  
  
**little lion** : and idk how you know my size automatically

**laf** : you only put hearts on things you make for us I know you hercules

**laf** : and I spend literal hours staring at you I know what your clothes look like

**more like HUNKules** : okay absolutely rude I'm being exposed

**little lion** : and I'm being loved sincerely and crying

**johnn** : do you do anything else

**little lion** : hUSH

\---

**laf** : hercules just locked himself in the bathroom bc I came out in my dress and he can't stop crying

**more like HUNKules** : I need a minute

**more like HUNKules** : or like ten

**more like HUNKules** : years

**little lion** : okay hercules rarely ever cries how am I going to survive

**johnn** : honestly I think we all might die at this wedding

**laf** : at least we'll die happily

**johnn** : true true

**laf** : hercules is sobbing and he wONT LET ME IN THE BATHROOM

**more like HUNKules** : I JSUSTSTTS

**more like HUNKules** : giVE ME TIME

**laf** : IF YOU'RE NOT OUT IN TEN MINUTES I WILL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR

**more like HUNKules** : FINE

\---

**laf** : I'm screaming

**little lion** : it's only been 8 minutes

**laf** : someone saw me in the studio and thought it was open so they came in

**laf** : hercules is sobbing loudly in the bathroom and I'm searching everywhere for the fucking key to the bathroom bc he won't let me in yet

**laf** : I'm still wearing my dress

**johnn** : oh god

**laf** : so I'm like hi,,,,,

**laf** : adn tHIS WOMAN FOR SOME FUCKING REASON ASKS "who are you" LIKE ?????

**laf** : AND IM LIKE IM NOT IMPORTANT WE'RE CLOSED TODAY

**laf** : AND SHEHKSHLDKSHLK S

**little lion** : "who are you" "not important"

**laf** : SHE GOES "THEN WHY ARE YOU IN HERE" LIKE IM WEARING A WEDDING DRESS AND SHE CANT SEE IT BUT I HAVE MY FUZZY CAT SOCKS ON AND I REALLY DONT NEED THIS

**laf** : AND HERC IS STILL SOBBING AND SHE PUTS HER HANDS ON HER HIPS WHERE HER FUCKING FLIP PHONE SIDE HOLSTER IS AND I

**laf** : so I'm liTERALLY JUST SILENT AND HERCULES COMES OUT AND SEES THE WOMAN AND HE'S CRYING AND IM LITERALLY SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM THAT I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE WOMAN ANYMORE BUT HERCULES LOOKS AT HER AND SHE FOES

**laf** : "hercules what's going on" LIKE SHUT U P IM HIS  S P O U S E

**little lion** : I'm being replaced

**laf** : never you'll always be my husband

**little lion** : <3 <3

**laf** : SO HES LIKE ????? I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE AND IM LAUGHING AND THE WOMAN GETS SUPER MAD AND POINTS TO HER PINSTRIPE SLACKS AND I HATE THEM AND SHE GOES "YOU MADE THESE" AND HE STARES AT HER AND JUST GOES",,,,,,,,,,,,okay.." AND THEN SHE GETS REALLY /REALLY/ MAD AND THEN SHE CALLED ME A ""THAT""

**johnn** : okay so like if you keep her there for roughly an hour I can get there and kill her  
  
**laf** : I am fine dear

**johnn** : I'm not

**laf** : <3

**laf** : SO SHE ASKS WHAT IM DOING HERE AND HERCULES IS LITERALLY STILL IN TEARS AND HE GOES "they're my fiance what are you doing here" AND SHE GOES "I SAW THEM IN THE WINDOW AND HAD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERENT GETTING ROBBED" LIKE PLEASE CAN I JUST KILL HER AND HERCULES IS LIKE ?????MY DOOR WAS LOCKED????? AND SHE SCREAMS AND LEAVES

**laf** : NOW HERCULES IS STARING AT ME TRYING NOT TO CRY AGAIN AND ASKING ME TO SPIN AROUD

**little lion** : GL

**johnn** : GODSPEED

\---

**more like HUNKules** : IM HERE NOW HELLO IM CRYING BUT IM HERE

**more like HUNKules** : LET ME JUST TELEL YOU

**johnn** : oh god

**more like HUNKules** : FIRST OF ALL I DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB WITH THE DUAL SKIRT THING EVERYTHING MOVES FLUENTLY

**more like HUNKules** : SECOND OF FUCKING ALL

**more like HUNKules** : LAFAYETTE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT FUCKS ME UP DEAR GOD NONE OF US ARE LIVING THROUGH THIS WEDDING I S2G

**more like HUNKules** : THEY CAME OUT OF THE DRESSING ROOM THINGS AND I JUST LITERALLY MY WHOLE MIND STOPPED IT WAS ASTOUNDING I WAS DEAD IT FELT LIKE ID BEEN S H O T

**johnn** : this is the worst thing ever it makes me want to see them sO BAD

**johnn** : the temptation is R E A L

**more like HUNKules** : LITERALLY THO YOURE GOING TO DIE THERES NO OTHER WAY

**laf** : I think he's being over dramatic

**johnn** : I don't

**little lion** : rt

**laf** : YOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN ME

**little lion** : I don't think we need to to know you look drop dead gorgeous all the time no matter what you're doing

**laf** : I am dONE with all three of you

**more like HUNKules** : I have to help you out of the dress so I wouLDNT BASH ME RN

**laf** : SORRY HERCULES LOV YOU

**more like HUNKules** : love you too now I'm coming in so like,,,,make room for me

**laf** : that's not possible we're just gonna have to squeeze

**johnn** : why do you have to squeeze??

**laf** : the skirt is Big and Poofy

**johnn** : I see

**more like HUNKules** : yeah I can't get in come out here

**laf** : I AM NOT GETTING UNDRESSED IN YOUR STUDIO

**more like HUNKules** : we're closed and you've done it before???

**laf** : oh right

**more like HUNKules** : dear god

\---

**little lion** : are you coming home soon

**laf** : we're getting food rn

**little lion** : okay like are you eating there or are you bringing it home??

**laf** : eating it here and we'll prolly get you guys something why

**little lion** : bc john was in the shower twenty minutes ago and he came out in only sweatpants and they're too short for him which isn't helping and I was wondering if I have to wait for you or not to Pursue

**laf** : go for it

**johnn** : hA my plan worked

**little lion** : oH yes it did

**laf** : jfc

**more like HUNKules** : amazing truly

**little lion** : goTTA GO JOHNS HAND IS sOMEWHERE

**laf** : IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER

**more like HUNKules** : AND OF THE SON

**laf** : AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

**more like HUNKules** : AMEN

**laf** : AMEN

\---

**laf** : we'RE HOME MY HUSBANDS

**little lion** : lafaYETTE, MY SPOUSE, HELLO

**little lion** : HDJAHF;AHJDLSKJDHFKGB

**laf** : me

**more like HUNKules** : seeing what made alex do that and then seeing the text and tHEN seeing your reaction to it was honestly the best piece of performance art I have ever seen

**johnn** : I'll take that as a compliment

**more like HUNKules** : BYE

**Author's Note:**

> this started out as one thing and turned into something else but idk I hope you liked it!!


End file.
